Exam coming....real soon

How soon? It will be 11 days w/o counting today as i am writing this post now. Less than 2 weeks away and nothing much or rather, nothing effective has been done. Worse, these 2 days, i have been doing nothing!!

Where is my sense of urgency!?!? why i still can't focus??

I know i should be mugging now. But the feeling is just different from other sems. I know i should put in effort for the final journey of my student life. But i simply can't. Not as of now. Maybe i am tired? Tired of the paper chase. Tired of trying to understand what's written in my notes. Tired of trying to achieve the 2nd upper which now seem very very far away. Tired of being a student, having to worry about assignments and exams, getting sad when results are out of expectation. Just no motivation ba.

Good thing is i still have the panicky feeling. 应该还有救吧.

I start to think if i have made the right choice for accepting that job. Start to wonder if i am really suitable for research work, or rather am i smart enough for it or not. Am i putting too large a cap on my humble little head? Somehow i start to have a feeling that things won't be smooth going after i start work.

A friend mentioned about uncertainty in life after graduating. It's going to be a whole new Chapter of life. Since young, the path of life is generally standardised: Pri-Sec-JC/Poly-army(guys)-Uni. Standard. Now or rather in near-future, the path will be set entirely by yourself with all the responsibilities to bear and decisions to make. Guess it is natural to feel 茫然, to feel lost. What kind of life you intend to lead? What kind of expectations/achievements/goals you want in your life? How should you....What should you.... Question marks everywhere. Have you thought of what you really want??

Yes, it is good to have a plan. A plan of how your life should be. But often, things don't turn out according to plan. No point planning so much, so far ahead. 船到桥头自然直.