Setbacks

Well, i guess it's so common to meet setbacks through your life journey. Just met a few.

Firstly, my skin condition is getting jialat AGAIN!! Ever since i start working, it has been very bad. Seriously don't really know the reason. It just keep flaring up, seems to lose control over it. Is it my workplace? Might be, cos it's carpeted. With the high frequency of scratching, dead skin is all over, dust mites must be in love with me! Thinking of getting a portable vacuum cleaner, similar to those use for car seats.

Second. My job. After a year of working, i realise i am just not good at it. I told myself to give 1 more year. Well i can continue to stay on and just make it. A series of events that happened on friday made me so demoralising. i thought i have done this and that correctly, but it turned out to be otherwise. Somehow, i give my bosses an impression that i am not thinking, just executing. This is something which i feel quite unjust about. I did think through whatever i am doing. Maybe its just the way i present myselfto them. I must admit i am still not strong in my field, which is why i still can't seem to have confidence with whatever i am doing. That why i tend not to speak up, even having problems explaining.

This job really does bring my self-esteem to the bottom. Sometimes i tell myself to have a positive attitude in learning this new field. Movitation is definitely needed. But how to get motivated when all the things seem to go wrong, at least not right in my bosses eyes?

And I know it's no good to compare. But i just can't help feeling so sian seeing my counterpart doing far better than me. It really very hard to get motivated.

What am i good at??