The hat too big for me??

Weekend is the only time for spring cleaning for many working adult, including myself. And i took 2 sundays to clean and clear up my room. Haha.

had a gathering with my army brothers yesterday. We were chatting about mostly about work. One of them actually work EVERY day since the day after new year. He sleeps only about 4 hours a day sia. I seriously wonder how he can take it. Another also work more than 12 hrs a day but drawing a higher salary. Switching jobs was one of the topics we were chatting about. The market is good now with many places still hiring. Well, who will want to work so long hours everyday?

For me, current job doesn't seem to suit me. Though i am quite interested in this industry, i feel it may be abit too much for me. My current job involves programming which is definitely not my cup of tea. My logic is just not as good. There is another guy working in the same area as me. He was a fresh grad who came in just like me. But he is much better in that area. Many times problems are solved by him. So when it comes to promotion, who do you think will go up?

Change job? It does cross my mind. But the question is 'what do i want to change to?' Honestly i have no idea. Maybe i should just stay on and work hard. But somehow the inner me tells me that i can hardly achieve anything here in my present job. Though colleagues and working environment are nice and friendly, i often can't help feeling inferior. Many times, i don't even want to speak up cause i feel whatever i say is not going to make sense to them or worst still, being mocked at. They seems to be one level higher. Self-confidence just disappears in front of them. I just feel out of place.

Can i survive there? I think is a yes. But survival is one thing, achieve and excel is another. Maybe i shouldn't choose this in the 1st place. Maybe i should just do according to my degree. I really should not wear such a big hat.

Whatever it is, i will give myself more time before making any decision.